Parenting with Purpose
Are you willing to participate in an experiment? It won’t take long. Just follow these directions:
List the last five things your child did that required your redirecting or reminding:
Now list the last five things your child did well, correctly and without reminding:
What did you find was easier to do? Most of you as parents would have little trouble listing all the things our kids have done incorrectly. When we as parents are asked to list all the good, positive, and rewarding things that our kids have done we can have a lot more difficulty. These two prompts can help us to begin reframing how we discipline, acknowledge, and guide our kids. I encourage you to write them down or type them out and paste them on your mirror or other easily accessible place in your home to be a constant reminder of what you choose to focus on with your kids’ actions. If we as parents choose to focus on our kids’ shortcomings and areas for improvement they will in turn show us more of their shortcomings and areas of improvement. We have to decide today that we will make efforts to compliment, encourage, and validate our kids so that these are the behaviors that they choose to do more often. I would encourage all of us as parents to use the 75/25 rule in which we encourage 75% of the time and redirect 25% of the time.
If after reading this article you identify the need for professional assistance for yourself or your child/teen please do not hesitate to contact me at 704-492-0713 or email@example.com and if not me please find a therapist or counselor/life coach that you can begin working with to develop strategies and recommendations to address how your parenting is impacting your child/teen’s overall functioning and what can be done to be more purposeful in parenting.
If you would like to learn more about me or my practice Inner Compass Counseling, Coaching, and Consulting, PLLC and have questions feel free to visit my website www.iccounseling.net as well as read my Fatherhood in the 21st Century Blog on the American Counseling Association Website.
My new book Abandoned to PhD: Integrating meaning and resilience in everyday life has been recently published and if you would like to review and purchase please visit https://www.balboapress.com/Bookstore/BookDetail.aspx?BookId=SKU-001156603
Dr. Gerald Brown (Doc Brown) is owner of Inner Compass Counseling, Coaching, and Consulting PLLC in Cornelius, NC and Statesville, NC. He is passionate about fatherhood issues, immigrant concerns, and specializes in trauma work. Doc Brown has presented at various conferences and has a multitude of experience training organizations and corporations in diversity and multicultural resilience. He believes in helping individuals, couples, and families find meaning and integrate that meaning with various resiliencies in order to live purposefully and vibrantly. He is married with two daughters ages 15 and 6.